“I Won’t”

I won’t miss you tonight
Not the warmth of your touch
Nor the smile I crave
Not the weight of you next to me
Nor the smell of your pillow
No, I won’t miss you tonight
Because your scent is on my fingertips
Your warmth, still at my back
And your smile is in my heart
I won’t miss you tonight
I’ll remember

© M. Black, 2018 All rights reserved.

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“Yellow Light”

Blink blink, yellow light
Turn signal draws the eye
On otherwise monochromatic day
Car horn in the distance
Barely registers
Someone’s in a hurry
Turn signal blinks yellow
And I, with my quiet thoughts
I’ve no where to take them
But home

© M. Black, 2017 All rights reserved.

“Never Said”

They said it would be different
That we could be anything
They didn’t tell me about the limitations society would impose
I guess that’s an attempt at maintaining the innocence of children

They never said fairy tales were works of fiction
Only that fairies weren’t real
Foolish us, wanting to believe

They never said that encouragement was a safety net,
A slow death by strangulation
Grinding us into soullessness

He never said how love would turn to resentment
How us against the world would turn to us against each other

Our children never said that disappointment would become the standard
And we never told them that we weren’t qualified for the job 

© M. Black, 2017 All rights reserved.

“Uncaptured Space”

Morning sun assaulted my eyes
As I leaned over iron railing
Exhaling a cloud of carcinogens
I looked below
To see the manicured lawn,
The neat lines of concrete
And admired the small dandelions growing through cracks
Despite our attempts to civilize every corner
To own every inch
It made me happy to see
Uncaptured space

© M. Black, 2017 All rights reserved.

“All I knew to do”

I waited
Because it was all I knew to do
In high school hallways
Where mean kids lurked
For the fight or smirk or sneer
I waited
In cold apartment parking lots
For someone who never came
For a sign of sincerity
For a sign of hope
For resolution
To the fights that never end
I waited
For people’s sense of morality
For right and wrong
And fair and unjust
To be as simple as they should be
For people to live and let live
To love and let love
To be and let be
I waited
And I’m waiting still
Because it’s all I know to do

© M. Black, 2017 All rights reserved.

“Unashamed”

Last night I died
A sacrifice to self
My stomach emptied its contents
My breath came in gasps
My skin oozed the stink-sweat of death
As the husk of what was lie still
The Eye appeared before me
It judged me, and I knew my failures
Then a voice drew me near
Fearless, it said
And a thought found me, whatever I was:
Why do you act fearlessly
When you are so afraid?
Deep in trance I could not respond
But could only reflect upon
And tears fell from my dead eyes
A reel of actions was displayed before me
I saw consequences I could not have dreamed to be
It was like watching the branches of a tree grow
Like watching an asymmetrical pond ripple
A mushroom cloud of a life
My lidless eyes could not look away from the waste
“I don’t want this!” I cried wordlessly

The Eye became a Mouth with many teeth and wicked lips
It spoke these words

Sacrifice to become
Become what you are
Deny all else and cast it aside
All illusions of being
Become the nothing that you are
There can be no return

Yes, my anima said

All at once I was submerged in thick liquid that held me paralyzed
Tiny fish-like beings began to pick at my flesh, tearing away pieces of me
Something took my teeth
I thought it would never end
A realization of how far I’ve strayed
Until at last I stood again, and hairless, new flesh, red and raw began to form over my exposed bones
Teeth pushed through my bleeding gums
My eyes ached as if they’d never been used
I was whole
Lighter than before
And I breathed deeply for the first time

As I stood on my feet, weakened but stronger than ever before
I saw my love
Smiling at me
He wrapped me in his arms and said
Now everything can be okay

I died last night
And became myself
I am not what I was
And cannot return
To a face that is not my own
The goblin in the mirror smiles at me
And now
I smile back, unashamed

© M. Black, 2017 All rights reserved.

“And Don’t Forget to Smile”

Morning, up
Bedhair stumbles to sink
Teeth brushed
Clothes in dryer
Seek coffee
Bleary eyes try to focus
Weary mind tries to remember
While the heart tries to forget
Another day in paradise
Another day in hell
Focus now
Build grocery lists
Push shopping carts
Put on uniforms
Clock in
And don’t forget to smile
There’s always tomorrow

© M. Black, 2017 All rights reserved.